In brilliant Newbietard style, sliders maxed out , he invites her to sex him in his brand new house with a brand new low-prim sex-bed.

She thought she would be ready if she could work out how to stop banging the wall and bang him instead

Finally, after several days of trying, they realized that their bed didn't have balls, but instead that they had to sit on the cute little hearts.

Not having Emerald, not even the insane jiggling of the sex bed could cause her toilet bowl sized breasts to stir, but he was impassioned enough at the idea of cartoon sex to work out, three days later, how to remove his clothes. She jiggled for all this time, and so was more than ready.

But here was a thing.

Or rather, it wasn't.

Despite the size of the "package" there was no meat!

By now they had realized that Linden Lab might well have got things ass-backwards again. So they checked in back too.

Still nothing.

And then they understood. When M said that he would provide everything a person needed for a Second Life^TM,  he forgot the bloody penis!

And so, sadder and poorer our Avatards set off into the sunset, plagued by thoughts of might have beens and wondering

Where's Willie?

Credits

Location: NITPAKZ (Newbie Internment Trailer Parks & Kiddie Zones (But only for premium newbies))

Set: Linden Labs

Sim: Dorajee

Characters: Hermit Barber and A Nonymous

Photography: Hermit Barber with Emerald

Digital transformation: ImageMagic Convert

Noted at the same time:

Linden Builders think that Newbie Avaturds need their ego's boosted by enabling them to walk on water. Inconvenient when all you wanted was a skinny dip.

Or maybe they simply don't know how to terraform: